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"It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death."- Mark Twain

Sunday, June 28, 2009

What would it be like at your final breathe you breath in this life?

I think about this all the time. Have I been happy? Have I done most of the things I wanted to? Do I have any regrets?

Some people view thinking about death is negative. But hey, there are only two things that are certain in life, birth and death. So if you do not think about it now, when?

Death does not scare me but death to me brings an end not so importantly to this life, but an end to the things that matter to me, things that I would be reluctant to let go of.

And because of this reluctance, death seems to have an effect of spurring me on. I am 32 this year, honestly, how long more do I have? If I am fortunate and God willing, I would have maybe 32 more go. But I can go anytime, if life has taught us any lessons. And it is precisely this thought that sometimes frustrate me so much.

I am dying, that is true. Everybody is. Every day we live, we are one day closer to death. And there are so many things that need to be done. One thing that is very close to my heart is the sufferings of others. And I marvel at how some people claim to be suffering in Singapore because they live in a small flat etc when there are someone out there in the world who dies of cold because they have to sleep under the bridge in winter. And I hate myself too, because sometimes I am one of those hateful people who complains over the slightest thing and having the slightest gratitude for what I have.

And that is where my frustrations enter. Is that as much as I have the heart, I have done nothing in action. I am still wallowing in my pathetic socio-capitalist self where I work hard to earn my living, to sustain my spending so that I can be enjoying. What the fuck kind of person am I? I may be a bigger hypocrite than anyone out there because those people whom I hate at least are honest about their hypocrisy.

I do not have much time left. And so are you. And that is why I think about the question all the time.

What would it be like at your final breathe you breath in this life?

Funny But Not A Clown screamed @ 4:07 PM

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*Scream @ Me*
Name* Ng Seow Siong AKA Ah Siong
BD* 5th Dec 1977
Gender* Male
Orientation*Straight, very straight
Loves* God, Dad, Mum and Sister, Rocking out with the band, chilling out with friends
Will Never Love* Idiots

Just me--

I am difficult to understand and I hate to be understood. I am best left alone. Just be my friend but do not ever try to show me that you understand me better than myself. I am a loyal person and everyone is my friend until he or she chooses not to be. Actually that is quite easy to understand right. If you hit the right note with me, you will find me very easy going.

I love music. And I love writing music and jamming with my band. Music has accompanied me through the worst times of my life. I thank God for that gift.

I am different and I am not afraid to be different. I hate politically correct people. Its alright to be courteous but not right to be a hypocrite.

I am funny. I love to be funny. I am not afraid to make fun of myself to bring laughter to others. I love making others happy. But I am not a clown.

*Try and scare me*

Say Something That Gives Me An Orgasm!

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