Photobucket
"It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death."- Mark Twain

Monday, April 14, 2008

14th April 2008 - ONE MONTH AFTER

My dad has passed away for a month. But the pain just does not go away. I have been very busy and I have found it easier to go out with friends now and have a bit of laughs but whenever I am alone, it is back to thinking of all the regrets I have and the pain of losing my father.

Today, the police asked me to the police station again at around 6 plus to give a complete statement of what happened to my father and they will submit it to the Coroner Inquiry and they will decide then whether there was any negligence on the part of the doctors and hospitals. The IO was very nice and despite my unhappiness over the whole issue and my distrust in the system, he explained to me that there are cases where hospitals are taken to tasks before. It was of course of no comfort to me, to me, it does not matter any more. That 2 hours in the station just made me go through again the pain of what happened on the day of his death and make me remember my father again. And I could not help but cried in the car.

The IO also asked whether we have any intention of suing the hospital on our own but to be honest,I would not want my mother to go through all these. So what if we win, it will just be an apology and maybe some money. What will that give us? Justice? Fariness? When we father died, there already was no justice and fairness. How do you get back justice and fairness? How do you compensate for that?

Was in COOS for the last 2 weeks and the sermons and service really ministered to me and God seems to be telling me to lay down my grief to Him. I really love to God to just lay it at your feet and say that I trust in You. But now, really, I cant. I really cant.

I cant seem to let go. Maybe its still early times. But I do not want to let go. I am afraid that with time, I will forget how my father looked like. I will forget about my father. I do not want to forget him. How can a person remember but yet not grief? I do not know. I really do not know.

Funny But Not A Clown screamed @ 9:38 PM

0 comments

*Scream @ Me*
Name* Ng Seow Siong AKA Ah Siong
BD* 5th Dec 1977
Gender* Male
Orientation*Straight, very straight
Loves* God, Dad, Mum and Sister, Rocking out with the band, chilling out with friends
Will Never Love* Idiots

Just me--

I am difficult to understand and I hate to be understood. I am best left alone. Just be my friend but do not ever try to show me that you understand me better than myself. I am a loyal person and everyone is my friend until he or she chooses not to be. Actually that is quite easy to understand right. If you hit the right note with me, you will find me very easy going.

I love music. And I love writing music and jamming with my band. Music has accompanied me through the worst times of my life. I thank God for that gift.

I am different and I am not afraid to be different. I hate politically correct people. Its alright to be courteous but not right to be a hypocrite.

I am funny. I love to be funny. I am not afraid to make fun of myself to bring laughter to others. I love making others happy. But I am not a clown.

*Try and scare me*

Say Something That Gives Me An Orgasm!

Free chat widget @ ShoutMix