SCREAM!

Monday, September 18, 2006

Varicose Veins - Varicose veins are twisted, enlarged veins near the surface of the skin. They most commonly develop in the legs and ankles.

Well one of my varicose veins on my legs burst twice in the last week. Both times, thank God I was at home and in the bathroom. The bathroom was full of blood and looked like a scene from THE PSYCHO. Both times, the paramedics were called in but only the second time was bad enough to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. To cut it short, I have an appointment to see a vascular surgeon to decide on treatment cos the veins could burst anytime and as much as I like seeing fountains, i dun really fancy seeing one from my legs.

One of my friends, Jem Gan, will be leaving for UK in slightly more than a week to go. He will be there for 4-5 years. Jem, I hope that when you are there, you truly will discover more of God and more of yourself. I never told you this but I felt that somehow you felt a bit stifled in Singapore and maybe leaving Singapore for a period of time is best for you. Do not get lost in the 'world' but do come back when you are done with your studies and I am looking forward to hear what you will learn over there.

And with Jem's impending departure to the UK, it also brought about thoughts of my own future. What do I want to do with it? When I said I felt Jem was stifled, it could not be more true for myself. I felt so squeezed. I felt that there is so much more I want to do but could not. As I said before, I believed these are all excuses. God, teach me how. And teach me now.

Life is like a coin. You can spend it anyhow but you can only spend it once.

Funny But Not A Clown screamed @ 1:54 AM

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Monday, September 11, 2006

Random.

Thats how one of my frens described me. He says he will never know what things I will say, what jokes I will crack and how my mood will swing and how my attitude will be. And I like that. Maybe this is how I wanna live my life. To be random and unpredictable. A colleague told me she is a creature of habit. And her habit is routine. All of us are creatures of habits. My habit is to live life unpredictably. Live like you gonna die tomorrow and you will make sure u are happy today.

The past weekend has been crazy. I was the OIC for my department's Carnival Sales. Being less than 2 months in the company, it was crazy having to coordinate a sales for 70 products. This means a logistics nightmare and also process tragedy. Being new and having people like Senior Managers and even the GM looking to you to give directions and instructions to move things is a pressure. I was at the site of the sales at 7am every morning and was not home till 9pm at nite. Standing on my feet for that long a period was not a joke and with all the stress of running around and making sure things were smooth, I got a very bad headache the very first day. The 2nd day was better and all in, we did pretty well with $50,000 worth of sales over 2 days. Our stretch target was $100,000. But well, this is the first time we are doing it as a company, so we have to start somewhere rite.

In the morning of Saturday, I was driving and I told God confidently, I wanna have a good day hit $100, 000! 4 hours into the sales, things look good. Business was overwhelming and we were running out of stock on certain items and we were shorthanded. Thus, when I went upstairs to the cashiers who were calculating the sales for the first half of the day, i was expecting a huge figure. To my disappointment, the sales was only $11,000! I was like in my heart, what! All the sweat and hard work by my colleagues yielded only $11,000??? For the rest of the day, I was simply very discouraged....my manager and even my GM came over to console me and encouraged me that it was good enough I took up the challenge to organise it since I am new and it was the first time...but I was close too inconsolation.

However, when I was driving home after the first day, I was still very affected when God reminded me of the very simple song "This is the day, This is the day, that the Lord has made. I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad in it." I then realised when I made the prayer in the morning, I attached my joy for the day to hitting $100,000 in sales instead of rejoicing simply because God made the day. With that realisation, I thank God for the day and for making me realise that if we were to attach our joy to things of the world, we will never be truly happy. We will always want more. More of the wrong things.

I am very tired. Sick. Wanna take MC but still went to work today. Have a lot of things to clear. Less than 2 months but I have to run very fast with the company. The financial situation has not exactly cleared up but it is clearing. I thank God for that and I believe in His time, when I cleared my debts, I will not forget the lessons He taught me so precious about my finances.

Thank you Jesus. When I am far, You draw near.

Funny But Not A Clown screamed @ 7:42 PM

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Friday, September 01, 2006

very tired....just came back from coffee with frens...230am now....wanna sleep soon...

Had a run in with a Senior Manager in the office but my conscience is clear, I focus on being objective while he tries to run me down because I am new, just one month into the job. Sorry I do not yield to power. Cliche as it may sound, respect is earned, not given. I hope people will see that when a job needs to be done, it can done with more help. Everyone has family committments so I dun think that is a reason not to deliver on the committments you laid down. If you never intended to do it, then dun agree to it anyway. You can say that everyone will say YES in front of the boss. It may be true that people will be a YES MAN in front of the boss but you trying to yield pressure on me to exclude your staff just shows that YOU ARE A YES MAN and a HYPOCRITE. At least the rest who are YES MEN, still will do what they agreed on.

Funny But Not A Clown screamed @ 2:28 AM

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