Photobucket
"It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death."- Mark Twain

Monday, December 29, 2008

Coming to the end of 2008.....


I find it hard to say that I had a great year. I mean many good things have happened but the fact that this was the year my Father passed away makes everything seem insignificant. But yet because of my Father's death, I have gained a new sense of responsibility as the man of the household, I have learned to cherish my Mum and Sis more, I gained an important lesson of how it is like to take setbacks in life and move on, I realised how fragile life is. Funny how that I need to lose my Father before I realise all these. I wish I had realised all these before but the fact I did not.

More than 9 months since he passed away. I am still haunted by the flashes of him covered in bloody mess in the ICU, when he was struggling to wake up, possibly wanting to see us one last time, when I had to identify his body in the morgue. You know, life has indeed move on, I went for holidays, I am back to my crappy self, I am now laughing like I used to but yet something seems to have been broken inside.

I used to work very hard because I thought finally I had a chance to make more money to bring my Father to trips. I took care of my own health, went to exercise (which I do not in the past) once I discovered I had diabetes because I do not want them to worry. But once my Father passed away, gradually I start to adopt a view like before that work is dispensible. I must admit I do not work at hard anymore. And I stopped going to gym. I think I just have not move on at all, have I?

I cannot be selfish, I need to. My Mother needs me. When I look at my Mum now, as she goes out to work everyday, comes back, sits there to watch TV, do the laundry, cook dinner for me and goes to sleep, I know she misses my Dad and I can only imagine the pain she feels inside. How could she come to terms to losing someone she had been married to for 31 years within a day when i myself could not. I know she is hurting and the only thing I can do is to be there, make sure she does not have to worry about finances and me.

2008 is a bad year but I cannot linger here. Time will move on no matter what. Time does not grieve. It is now up to me to catch up with time, My Father will always have a special place in my life but now I will have to try to live for the future.

Thanks Pa.

Funny But Not A Clown screamed @ 10:41 AM

1 comments

*Scream @ Me*
Name* Ng Seow Siong AKA Ah Siong
BD* 5th Dec 1977
Gender* Male
Orientation*Straight, very straight
Loves* God, Dad, Mum and Sister, Rocking out with the band, chilling out with friends
Will Never Love* Idiots

Just me--

I am difficult to understand and I hate to be understood. I am best left alone. Just be my friend but do not ever try to show me that you understand me better than myself. I am a loyal person and everyone is my friend until he or she chooses not to be. Actually that is quite easy to understand right. If you hit the right note with me, you will find me very easy going.

I love music. And I love writing music and jamming with my band. Music has accompanied me through the worst times of my life. I thank God for that gift.

I am different and I am not afraid to be different. I hate politically correct people. Its alright to be courteous but not right to be a hypocrite.

I am funny. I love to be funny. I am not afraid to make fun of myself to bring laughter to others. I love making others happy. But I am not a clown.

*Try and scare me*

Say Something That Gives Me An Orgasm!

Free chat widget @ ShoutMix